5 Advocate for Yourself

Sometimes we forget that we need to meet our own needs. We are so focused on doing the job, making sure each client on our caseload has what he or she needs. We even find time to participate in rallies and letter-writing campaigns to support funding for social service programs or improvements to our laws. But lost in all that is our own well-being.

When we need a day off, a change in our work environment, or improved supervision, do we ask for help? Or do we try to push through and allow ourselves to get worn down? Or worse yet, do we quietly allow resentments to build up until they boil over and we take it out on those around us?

One of the most valuable habits you can develop in your work is the practice of speaking up for yourself, just as you would for a client who wasn’t receiving the best services. You might be grinding away, struggling to get through each day, wondering when someone will take notice and do something. Perhaps you will have a compassionate colleague or an observant supervisor who notices you aren’t running at full speed, and they will encourage you to lighten your load.

Most likely, though, those people will be focused on many of their own responsibilities and not say anything so direct. In that case, rather than holding on and hoping for a rescue, you have to take the initiative of speaking up for yourself.

This doesn’t mean launching into a series of complaints about the job, or asking for to get out of duties just because you don’t like them. You should approach advocacy in the most optimistic mindset possible. Healthy communication is about finding the sweet spot called assertiveness. Assertive communication is the intersection where I get my own needs met while also respecting the other person’s needs.

Contrast assertiveness with passive communication and aggressive communication. When we are passive, we allow others to get their needs met at our own expense. In this case, we don’t show proper respect for ourselves. When being aggressive, we make sure to meet our own needs, but we do so without any regard for the other person. Passive-aggressive communication is simply a sub-type of aggressive communication where we are being aggressive in a more covert manner.

For people who are not used to being assertive, it can be a difficult task at first and might require practice to get comfortable with. If you are planning to address a concern, then setting up a time when you can speak to a supervisor in private is the best situation. This allows you to calmly present your concerns or make your situation known. Sometimes simply by letting another person know we are struggling, we begin to feel better. The burden has been shared. And by showing your supervisor the respect of scheduling a meeting and demonstrating that you have given consideration to what you are saying, you stand a better chance of them following through.

On the other hand, if you try to flag down your supervisor in a hallway when he or she is clearly busy, then drop an unexpected series of complaints and demands on them, this will only make your situation worse.

If a face-to-face meeting isn’t possible, consider scheduling a phone call or a video chat. An email is also an option, although it can be less effective because the other person only has to respond to a screen rather than to another person. Also, tone can be lost or misinterpreted in email, so use your words carefully if you take that route. Reading your written words out loud and having another person proofread what you’ve written are useful tools to make sure your message is clear and effective.

Advocating for yourself may be difficult, especially if you are not used to being assertive. And in some cases, a supervisor will not be able to make the changes you’re asking for. Most important, focus on the benefits to yourself and to your clients. A good supervisor will recognize the importance of having a fresh, efficient staff, and you will be practicing the same skills for yourself as you would for your clients and your community.